An Everyday Occurrence

Author: Raindrops on Roses

Rating: G
Category: Humor

Spoilers: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This was written for the LiveJournal community 30minutefics. The challenge was to write a dialogue piece in which the two characters were having tea. Okay, so I cheated a bit. *sheepish grin*

"Good afternoon, Severus. Tea?"

"Albus, tell that infernal woman to keep her bushy-haired, know-it-all self out of my potions stores!"

"Well, if he would learn how to share, instead of being a selfish, arrogant bastard, then maybe we wouldn't have that problem, now would we, Severus?"

"Arrogant? Who is the one who nearly blew up the laboratory on a silly little 'feeling'?"

"Who is the one whose 'silly little feeling' finally gave you the breakthrough you were so looking for?"

"Sugar, Professor Granger?"

"Yes, please. And it's my word that got you that research grant you so wanted, Severus Snape--"

"Oh, so now I should be grateful that you're personally acquainted with the head of research at St. Mungo's?"

"No, but a little civility wouldn't go amiss!"

"For the last time, Albus, I don't want any of your blasted tea!"

"See? That's exactly what I mean!"

"Oh, do shut up, woman!"

"My name is Hermione, you imbecilic git! Her-my-oh-knee. Not woman!"

"I'm imbecilic? Obviously, you haven't spoken with your dear friends Potter and Weasley lately."

"Oooh! You are infuriating!"

"And you are--"

"Really, you ought to try some of these sandwiches. They're quite delightful."

"Why, I do believe Severus wants some sandwiches, don't you, Severus?"

"Damn it, Hermione! Those were good robes!"

"Good! Maybe next time you'll learn to share!"

"You want me to share? Very well, then!"

"Aaaah! Severus, that tea was still hot!"

"It wasn't hot enough to burn, so stop complaining."

"If you get to complain about a lap full of sandwiches, I get to complain about my hair being all sticky and wet! Do you know how long it takes to wash my hair?"

"Does it take as long as it does to brush it?"

"I won't even dignify that with an answer. Albus, excuse me; I have an experiment I need to check up on."

"That is my experiment, not yours!"

"Then you should run it properly!"

"I could, if one bossy, smart-mouthed Charms professor would stick to her own curriculum!"

"You know full well that I am both a Charms and Potions mistress, so don't you dare start that again!"

"Well, I think that went quite well; don't you, Fawkes? At least they didn't frighten the first-years this time."

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